Posted by: Jayme | May 16, 2007


Wednesdays are my difficult days lately.  There are several reasons for this.

On Wednesdays, I was another week pregnant.  I was really enjoying every moment, and each Wednesday I’d go look up how big Connor was getting, what he was doing, and I’d find pictures of ultrasounds of babies that were at the same gestation.   I was soaking up everything, since Connor was my last baby, I wanted to remember every minute of the pregnancy.  I love being pregnant.

Wednesdays is gymnastics day.  Generally that’s a fun thing for the girls and I, but one of the coaches that I am friends with is pregnant.  She is due with a boy not long after I was due with Connor.   I am having a hard time going each week now, because her belly is still growing, there is still life inside of her.   It hurts to see her and her belly.  I hear her talking to the other moms about baby showers, baby clothes, baby stuff.  Then they look at me with that look of pity.  They don’t talk to me much anymore, it’s like they don’t know what to say, or maybe they think it’s contagious, death.  Either way, it is very awkward and uncomfortable for me to be there now. 

Wednesday is the day when I found out Connor died. 

Only 7 more hours until it is Thursday. 


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