Posted by: Jayme | November 1, 2007


I swear they are everywhere.  Were there always this many pregnant woman and babies around me?

When I was pregnant with Connor, I wanted a VBAC so badly.  I just KNEW I could do it, that if I went to term or even close to it, it would be better for him, for me…  I hated my c-section and the recovery.   Well I got my VBAC- but only because he was already gone.  It makes me feel so guilty- why wasn’t I more focused on wanting a healthy, live baby?  Why was I so concerned with how he got out of my body?

The phrase ‘Be careful what you wish for’ rings true.  

But then again, as a friend of mine says- those two things (wanting a VBAC & a live, healthy baby) aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.

 I just feel so guilty sometimes.  And angry other times.  And bitter occassionally. 


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