Posted by: Jayme | December 26, 2007

Sadness

I am in quite a funk.  I had absolutely NO Christmas spirit this year.  I am really missing the boys, and my babies.  I was doing so good, I wasn’t feeling sad for the longest time.  But now it’s back, and it has hit me like a ton of bricks.  I haven’t been depressed like this since Elora died.  I didn’t even feel this down about Connor- I was too busy focusing on Aaron finally being home.

Aaron leaves in about two weeks, and he will be gone for eight months.  I’m dreading it.  It already feels like he’s gone, I feel like he’s so withdrawn and distant lately.  I don’t know what to do.  Last time, I had Connor to look forward to.  I spent the whole deployment focusing on a new baby, one I was certain we were going to get to keep.  It went by so fast, and wasn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated.  But I’m afraid this time it’s going to be so much worse.  I feel like I have nothing to look forward to.

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