Posted by: Jayme | November 10, 2008

When will I feel whole again?

Sometimes I wonder if the reason I have baby fever and feel as if our family isn’t complete is because of our losses.  How can our family ever feel like it’s whole when we’ve buried three babies?  We will forever be missing them, always feeling like a part of us isn’t here.

For example, if Elora lived, would I have wanted one more after her?  She’d be two now- would I have baby fever like I do now even if she was here with us?  Is a sixth living child going to make me feel that my family is finished and complete?

What if I never feel as if I am done having kids?

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Responses

  1. You know, I wonder the same thing. And even my oldest commented on it, also. He told me we need another baby (my youngest is all of 4 months right now), because we should have 5 kids, not four. But since Julia died, we’re missing one.

    Well, we’ll always be missing one. And it sucks. I keep imagining what life would have been like had Julia lived. Would we have Hannah? Would Genna and Jeremy be here?


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