Posted by: Jayme | January 4, 2009

This is it

This is my last try at a take home baby.  After this, I’m done.  If I get to the point in pregnancy where I’ll have a c-section to deliver, I’ll have my tubes tied.  If I lose them before them, and don’t have surgery, Aaron will have a vasectomy.  We have decided we can’t do it again, if this doesn’t work out.  And of course, if it does work, well we’ll be done because we’ll have a ton of kids LOL

I’m really hoping for the ton of kids option 🙂

I don’t want to grieve anymore.  I want to be happy.  I want to be overwhelmed with the newborn days… no sleep, tons of diapers…

I don’t want to find myself doing too much after having a baby, but since there’s no baby to take care of, I have to keep reminding myself I just had one and should be acting accordingly and not physically overexerting myself.  I want to have living proof in my arms of what I just went through.

I want to cry because I’m overtired and touched out from nursing, not because my milk has come in and I have no baby to relieve my engorgement.

I hope this is it, that this is our happy ending.

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Responses

  1. I want you to have that happy ending too and it looks like you are well on the way to it!


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