Posted by: Jayme | May 7, 2009

OB Vent.

I want to vent about an OB I saw recently. I’d never seen this particular doctor before- he was new to the clinic, plus they have me rotating through all the complicated OBs. He looked through my chart and then asked me if I would like to sign up for a tubal during my c-section. I declined. He asked why. I told him that even though we’re pretty sure this is my last pregnancy, I am not ready to make that decision until I have living healthy babies. In addition, Aaron has volunteered to get a vasectomy.
He said we should go ahead and do it now, because regardless if we bring home these babies, I already have five kids who are alive and that’s plenty.
What? Why is that his business? And what does the amount of living kids have to do with it? It’s like, I shouldn’t want to complete my family because I have enough other kids. I felt like he was minimizing my losses. I could almost accept him pushing for a tubal if he was using my health as a reason- but it was so totally more about family size. I would bet money that if I had no living kids he wouldn’t have even suggested it.
I mumbled some comment about how I didn’t want to end my child-bearing years on a loss… and that so far I was healthy this pregnancy. He said well you really can’t subject your body to this many c-sections anyway, that they were not healthy. I totally agree- HOWEVER, this will only be my second. I told him I’d given birth to all my kids but one vaginally, so the whole too many c-sections should not be an issue at this point anyway.
Seriously though- one of my biggest pet peeves is when people try to tell me to be thankful I have five living kids. I am. But that doesn’t make me miss the three I’ve lost any less. It’s like they think I don’t have the right to be sad or grieve because I already have kids.
People preaching to me about family size is also a pet peeve. I am not asking anyone else to take care of my kids. Unless I am asking you to babysit or to help with my finances, then I don’t think you have any right to have any input over how many children Aaron and I decide to have.



  1. I totally understand what you are saying…….in the last paragraph anyway.

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